Happy New Year!

Happy New Year everyone! I hope you all are doing well and that your new year is off to a great start!

With a new year upon us, that means new year resolutions.

I’ve personally never really had a new year resolution. I have set goals for myself through out the year but I don’t complete them so they just rollover to the next year lol like rollover goals. But this year is the year I really want to accomplish goals that have been lingering so that I can start fresh with a new list. So this year, I have decided to create a list of goals I would like to accomplish.

Here are my top 5 (not in any order)

1. Blog consistently

2. More productivity & less procrastination

3. Get closer to God + Overcome anxiety & depression

4. Save more & spend less

5. Be more organized

Let’s all admit that at some point in our lives we have set a goal we would have liked to accomplish, but we either gave up because we felt it was too difficult or abandoned it. With that being said, I’ve been thinking about ways that can help keep me motivated to achieve my goals. This year, not only do I want to accomplish my goals, but I also would like to help you guys achieve yours as well.

Below I have listed some ways that have helped me in the past achieve goals and hopefully they can help you as well.

1. Set realistic goals!!! Don’t make goals to lose 10 pounds a week (not safe) or to grow your hair from shoulder length to down your back in month. Make sure your goal is realistic and that your able to achieve it in a reasonable time frame.

2. Don’t try to focus on every goal at once. This will make you feel overwhelmed and you’ll end up not accomplishing much. Anything you do for 21 days become a habit so try focusing on one or two things first then when you feel that you have that down work on another goal.

3. Create a log to track your progress. For example if your goal is to eat healthier, create a food diary. This is the way you can review what you’re eating and figure out ways you can improve your diet.

4. Reward yourself. Set mini goals within a goal. For example if you plan on eating healthier, you can start by cutting junk food out of your diet for 30 days. If you successfully complete this mini goal, then reward yourself with a little treat like going out, purchasing a new outfit etc. as long as it isn’t contradicting your goal. Don’t “reward” yourself by eating a double cheeseburger with fries and a shake as that defeats the purpose. Rewarding yourself will make you feel better about yourself and motivate you to keep going. Before you know it you’ll reach your goal in no time.

5. Most importantly…. DON’T GIVE UP! Some goals may be more difficult than others to achieve but you have to push through. If you find yourself not doing as well as you would like with accomplishing your goal don’t get discourage. If you’re making progress that’s all that matters. Keep progressing. It’ll be challenging in the beginning but remind yourself that it’ll get easier. Remember that everyone is different. It is important to not compare yourself to others who are working on the same goals as you. Everyone will progress at their own pace. Again, all that matters is that you are progressing with your goal!

So do you have any goals for the year of 2018? If so I’d like to know. You can let me know by leaving a comment down below or shooting me an email through my contact page! Also feel free to keep me updated on any progress you make through the year Let’s achieve our goals together !!

– Alexis Raven 🌸

One of a kind… Introvert

An introvert is NOT the same as being antisocial. Many people believe introverts are antisocial and that is not the case. Antisocial, literally meaning “against society” is a personality disorder. People who are anti social do not engage in socializing with others nor do they enjoy the company of other people. They are often disrespectful and violate the rights of others. On the other hand, introverts enjoy company but to a certain extent.

I have always been an introvert for as long as I can remember. Many people have the misconception that I am just quiet and lonely with no friends and shocked when they discover I have a boyfriend (like really?). I prefer to chill at home or go shopping or out to lunch with one or two friends than to be the life of a party every night with strangers (extremely overwhelming for me).

Being an introvert simply means I enjoy spending time alone BY CHOICE which is different from being lonely. I need time to recharge after a night out which is something I don’t do very often unless it’s with my boyfriend De’Shure. I do not enjoy going out every night or weekend. I do not care to talk on the phone or text everyday as it becomes draining to me.

I’m actually not that quiet, only in public around strangers. I love to talk, but only about things that truly interest me. Get me started on a topic I am passionate about, and I’ll probably never shut up (lol). I don’t enjoy small talk. I rather sit and not say a word than to discuss the weather or how’s school going (eh). It usually comes off as “stuck up” to some people, but I’m far from being stuck up. For this reason, I get many comments from people telling me to “come out my shell” or “loosen up.”

I hate when people tell me to come out my shell especially before getting to know me. I am who I am. I’m 99.9% sure I will always be this way and that’s okay! This is for anyone out there who feels pressured to change their personality. God created you exactly the way you are meant to be. You don’t have to change yourself to please others. Don’t let anyone try to convert you from being the awesome introvert you are!

– Alexis Raven 🌸

He’s just moving the pieces around…

We have all put together a puzzle at least once in our life. Some puzzles have more pieces than others, thus making it frustrating and more difficult to solve. Sometimes, you think you may have a matching piece that fits with another, but you don’t so you have to rearrange certain pieces of the puzzle to make it fit. As the puzzle progresses, the puzzle starts to become less challenging and easier to solve. Same as putting together a piece of furniture, or building something new. For example, let’s say you were putting together and you realize that it isn’t coming together as it should be, you have to move pieces around to figure out what works together.

I often think of life the same way. I believe that God is just moving the pieces around for the better. There have been situations in my life where I didn’t understand why God was rearranging the “pieces” until the later. Same as how “everything happens for a reason”. That’s when I realized he was placing me where I belong which worked out much better in the end.

We often try to go against gods plans and create our own, but we have to realize that God is the one in control. He wouldn’t give us anything we couldn’t handle so he will only be placing us where he sees best fit.

Whenever you are feeling down or defeated because things aren’t working out as planned, do not get discouraged. If you feel that some things in your life are falling apart, just think of pieces in your life being rearranged for the better. God is working on putting you exactly where he sees fit!

Two Year Anniversary & Advice

On Sunday, July 2, 2017, my boyfriend De’Shure and I celebrated our two year anniversary! It has been a wonderful journey with him and I truly enjoy every second of our relationship. We had a blast on our anniversary. We began the day with breakfast at IHOP, then we went to Adventure Air Sports in Kennesaw. Our day ended with dinner at The Cheesecake Factory. We were then going to take a ride on the Sky view Atlanta Ferris Wheel, but unfortunately it began to storm so we postponed it for another time. The day was still fantastic and I had so much fun spending time with him. It was great to have a day dedicated to just the two of us with no distractions.

 

My gorgeous promise ring I received from De’Shure!

Quite a few people ask me “How do you guys stay together so long?” or “Wow! You guys are still together?” (uh YEA lol). There really isn’t a secret to having a strong relationship, however there are a few things that you can do to ensure a great relationship. Below are some tips that will help you maintain a healthy relationship with your boyfriend or girlfriend. The following tips has helped De’Shure and I, and hopefully they can help you out as well.

1. Trust 

In my opinion, trust is the absolute number one most crucial trait that has kept us together. For the longest I had a hard time trusting him. Not because he has ever done anything wrong to break my trust, but because of past relationships and of course my anxiety and insecurities… *sighs*. Not only was I afraid of getting cheated on, but I was afraid that he wouldn’t be able to deal with me nor my anxiety. I thought that he wouldn’t care and would end up leaving me because he didn’t understand why I would act the way I do at times, but fortunately he did. He understood everything. It took him a while to learn how handle things when it got rough, and as frustrating as it may have gotten for him he didn’t give up on me. I had to learn how to trust that not only would he be faithful, but that he would be loyal and wouldn’t abandon me. When I started to trust him, it really has made a huge difference in our relationship!

2. Forgiveness 

No matter how upset we might have gotten with each other, we always, always, ALWAYS apologize and ask for forgiveness. We NEVER go to bed angry at each other.

Swallow your pride and apologize even if you believe you weren’t wrong. Be sure that the apologies are always genuine and sincere. Don’t say “I’m sorry you’re upset for no reason” or “Sorry you feel that way” because it is only going to make things escalate. We always forgive each other by the end of the day.

Also, if you claim to forgive them, don’t hold grudges. Forgive and forget because you can’t move further holding something against them.

3. Support 

De’Shure and I are very supportive of each other. He is always by my side when I need him most and I’m always by his side as well. We are each other’s #1 fans. If he was in a race, I will be right there along the sidelines cheering him on. It’s a great feeling to receive support and encouragement from someone you adore!

Remember that no relationship is going to be easy all the time. There will be a few challenges, but following the few tips listed above will help you maintain a healthy relationship.

– Alexis Raven 🌸

Life Update

Hi guys! I hope everyone is doing well. Sorry it’s been a while since my last post as it wasn’t intention. In May, I started a new job so that has been taking up quite a bit of my time but I will definitely be back to publishing new post! I decided to do a brief post to inform you all what has been going on in my life. Each month, I will do a “life update” post to let you guys know what’s been going on, how I’m feeling, and more. I feel that this will help other because they may be able to relate to some of things I deal with and it will let them know that they are not alone. 

Recently, I hit a rough spot in my life. As you guys already know from previous post I have anxiety. No day is the same for me as my mood sometimes changes sporadically. Lately I have been feeling down and not motivated to do anything, but thanks to my friends and my boyfriend I was able to lift myself up and share with you all what I have been dealing with lately. 

This is for anyone who has anxiety, depression, bipolar, etc… 

There will be times where you will feel like you aren’t enough and you’ll want to give up everything but you can’t. You have to keep going and push yourself. Ignore ALL negative thoughts that you might be experiencing and feed yourself postive thoughts. I know it’s easier said than done but you have to try. Obstacles will always get in the way and try to knock you down. You may even feel defeated and useless at times, but only YOU have the power to brush off the dirt and get back up!

 Stay in control of your emotions. Try not to let anyone or anything steal your joy. Don’t let anxiety or a toxic person have that type of control over your life because it’s doing more damage than you think. I learned that over the past few weeks. 

– Alexis Raven 🌸

Create Your Own Happiness

Here’s a topic that many people struggle with, happiness. As you know from previous post, I struggle with anxiety and depression. It started to really take a toll on me. I wasn’t happy with anything. I wasn’t happy with myself, school, work etc. and I wasn’t exactly sure why. I knew if I wanted to be happy I had to do something. I had to make a change that will get me out of my depression. The moment I realized I was through being depressed, crying each day and night, was the moment I decided that I will be happy. 

In order to achieve true happiness it has to be something that you desire. I’m sure we all wish we could go to the store and purchase happiness from a shelf and voila, we are happy, but unfortunately, it doesn’t work that way. You have to go out and seek YOUR OWN happiness. Nothing or no one can give it to you, and it definitely can’t be bought. Sure, money may make you happy for the time being, but eventually that “happiness” that you’re feeling for the moment will eventually fade away. You have to be just as happy with nothing as you would be with everything. 

A mistake that I tend to see people make when searching for happiness is looking for it in something else whether it’s a relationship, or materlistic things. Don’t look for your happiness in those things as they are not guaranteed to last forever. You must be first happy with yourself. Love yourself first and be happy with the things that you already have, then everything else will follow.

 Don’t compare yourself to others. Constantly comparing yourself to others and worried about about what the next person has and what you don’t have, can have a negative impact on your happiness. It can make you feel like you’re behind. Everyone progresses at their own time. When you see someone who is truly happy and doing well don’t feel down, be happy for them and use their happiness as your encouragement. Tell yourself that eventually someday you’ll gain happiness. 

As mentioned in my previous post “Inhale Confidence & Exhale Doubt” a postive mindset can also help you gain happiness. Remain postive even in negative situations. If you tend to let everything bother you, then it will have an affect on your happiness. 

Just like confidence, true happiness isn’t something that is going to come overnight.  It took me a while to get where I am today. I’m not where I want to be, but I’m better than where I use to be, and that’s all that matters. Progression. Keep progressing, and eventually you’ll be there! 

– Alexis Raven 🌸

Inhale Confidence & Exhale Doubt

In my previous blog post, I discussed how everyone should start working towards their dreams. In order to work towards a goal, an individual must have confidence. You must have confidence in yourself and believe that you are capable to accomplish anything. For the longest, my anxiety has always kept me from being confident. I always felt that I wasn’t good enough or that I would fail at everything. I realized that if I wanted to reach my full potential and make my dreams become reality, I must first have confidence. I know this may be a challenging for some of you. To just “believe in yourself” is easier said then done. I haven’t always had much self-confidence as I do now, which is why I hesitated to start a blog. It took a while for me to gain confidence, but I’m glad that I finally did. 

So to help anyone who needs to boost their self-confidence, here are 3 tips that helped me gain confidence and hopefully can help you.

1. Positive Mindset

“It all begins and ends in your mind. What you give power to has power over you if you allow it.” 

Remember that you are the one in control. What consumes your mind controls your life. If you constantly tell your self negative things like “I’m not good enough” or “I’ll never be anything”, then you’re going to start to believe those thoughts. It is important to feed your mind positive thoughts. Every morning, I thank God for allowing me to see another day, and I tell myself at least one positive thought. Just one positive thought in the morning can make or break your day. A little bit of self encouragement goes a long way!

    2. Support

“The only way to get better is to surround yourself with people who believe in you.” 

Having a strong support something is vital to gain confidence. I am blessed to have a boyfriend who is my number one fan and supports me as much as he can and the best way he knows how. My sister is helpful as well as she also battles with anxiety. She’s someone who understands exactly how I feel at times when I’m down and gives me great advice. If you have just one person who strongly supports you, then you have plenty. Surround yourself with people who uplift you. Everyone you associate yourself with should support you and your dreams. 

    3. Be yourself

“Be yourself, everyone else is already taken.”          

There’s only one of you in the world. Isn’t that amazing? There’s just ONE you. No one else is like you. You are unique. You are bold. You are beautiful. You are talented. You are amazing. Instead of trying to fit in with everyone else, STAND OUT. Be different. When you believe in yourself and how wonderful you are then you’ll eventually start to feel like you can accomplish anything. 

Hopefully these tips will help you gain confidence. Remember that it will not happen overnight but overtime. Until then, fake it til ya make it! 😉

– Alexis Raven 🌸

“Tomorrow could be the someday you’ve been waiting for” -William Chapman

So let’s begin with why I decided to start a blog. A few years ago, I was diagnosed with anxiety which led me into a state of depression (I’ll go into details about my depression in another blog). While I was depressed, I started writing each night. I would write every thought I was feeling, good or bad. I used writing as an outlet for awhile, until I wanted to do something more. I wanted to have an impact on others lives, and I thought this would be the best way to do so. I was very nervous to start, but one day I gained enough courage to create a blog, and I am very excited to have created one. I feel that this blog would be a fantastic outlet for me. It will help me to express myself and allow others to get to know my personality. Not only does blogging make me feel better when I’m down, but I have faith that it will inspire others to pursue their dreams and help guide them through this journey we call “life”.

We all have dreams and specific goals that we want to accomplish. “Tomorrow could be the someday you have been waiting for.” Make today the “some day” you have been dreaming. As my English professor always says “procrastination is your biggest enemy.” Whatever it is that you want to do whether it’s starting a blog, YouTube channel, being a music artist, model, etc. start it now, don’t hesitate any longer. I have made the decision to no longer hesitate to do what I desire.

 Any goal can be achieved with dedication, determination, and hard work. After reading this post today, don’t continue to “wish” for something to happen, make it happen. YOU have the power to make your dreams become reality. So here’s to anyone who needed just a little motivation. If you feel like no one believes in you, or even if you don’t feel that you don’t have what it takes to accomplish your goals, I believe in you. Never let anyone or anything make you feel that you don’t have the potential to reach your goals.

Next week’s post will discuss confidence! In order to pursue your dreams you must be confident. I will be giving tips on what helped me gain my confidence.

– Alexis Raven 🌸

First Blog Post

Welcome

Hi guys, welcome to my blog! I have been debating for a while if I should start a blog and I finally gathered the courage to do so. I thought I’d begin with introducing my self and giving you a little background information about me! I’m Alexis Coffil. I was born in New Orleans, Louisiana on September 9, 1997. I live in Georgia and currently attended Georgia Highlands College. At the moment, I am undecided on my major so I am currently studying general studies. I am torn between becoming a pastry chef or working with wildlife. I have a passion for both, however my heart has been yearning more towards animals.

 

This blog will range from a variety of topics including advice on relationships, self love, how I manage my anxiety and much more. I aspire to keep you intrigued and deliver fresh and original content each week I hope to inspire everyone with my post and I hope you enjoy!

– Alexis Raven 🌸